How Do I Keep My Marriage and Family?

This is a question that many ministry leaders are starting to ask themselves more and more. In a culture where more than 50 percent of marriages are falling to divorce ministry leaders need to know that they are not immune to this topic. In this final series of “How Do I…” I want to you to think thru five questions that will assist you and your marriage.

A lifelong verse that my wife and I use daily is Proverbs 4:23-27

Proverbs 4:23-27 (NIV)
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the[
a] paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

1.    Are you guarding your heart from ministry?

I know, you are probably saying, “Huh?”  Yes, I think to stay in ministry you need to guard your heart. Many urban leaders have reported and gone on record stating that they are burned out and tired. There is no way you are going to have a healthy marriage by giving your heart away in ministry.

2.    Does your spouse know that they come first?

I was recently attending a very important meeting with another minister who answered his phone during it.  Many in the room gave him the look that only people can give when someone answers the phone in the middle of an important meeting.  Once he finished, he apologized and acknowledged that the phone call came from his wife.  Then he boldly stated that his wife was more important than any meeting.  Impressive!

3.    How’s your sex life?

Yes, I said it and the question remains are you being intimate with your spouse? I won’t go on any further with this but one of the main ways in having a healthy marriage is to stay intimate sexually with your spouse.

4.    How’s your eyesight?

Are you looking at things that you should not be looking at or having inappropriate conversations with people that should only be had with your spouse?

5.    Is God a part of your marriage?

I realize I’m writing to ministry leaders so the natural response is “yes.”  But think this one thru…is God truly a part of your marriage?  If so, then I believe that there should be nothing (not even ministry) that should tear you apart from your spouse.  Remember our marriage and family is our first ministry!

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