BY CHARLIE AND BETTY RIVERA

It was a beautiful sunny day and we had just arrived home from Sunday morning service. Our plans were to spend Sunday afternoon together in our apartment eating sandwiches, watching a little TV, and then cozying up to take a short nap before returning to church for the evening service. However, all of this was changed by the ringing doorbell and the repeatedly loud pounding on the door. We knew immediately that some of our church youth were at the door to spend another afternoon with us.

In 1986 we entered marriage and ministry at the same time. All we wanted to do was to fulfill God’s calling on our lives. Immediately we began to work as youth leaders at our church, on a volunteer basis. At that time, full time (on salary) youth leaders were scarce. We then found ourselves holding down full-time jobs while also being (full-time) youth leaders at our church. My (Charlie’s) enthusiasm for ministry was so great that I found myself giving every available moment to our young people. Unknowingly I began to neglect my marriage, the one thing that meant so much to me.

The passion that my wife and I once felt for ministry was no longer the same. I began to sense and see my wife’s frustration and discouragement with the demands of ministry. Her passion was gone and resentment set in. She could not understand why ALL of my available time was being consumed by “ministry.” I can still hear my wife’s words, “I wish you enjoyed spending time with me like you do with the youth!”

At that moment I realized that my marriage and ministry were unbalanced! My idea of ministry was to sacrifice all in order to do God’s work. Meanwhile, without realizing it, I had placed my marriage on the back burner. My days were consumed by my job, and my evenings and weekends consumed by our youth ministry, with very little time left for our marriage.

Over the years, we have come across many couples who have found themselves in similar situations-frustrated, confused, and burned out. Fulfilling the call on your life does not mean we have to neglect other key areas. On the contrary, those areas should enhance our ministry. Balancing your marriage and ministry comes easy when you have set your priorities in order.

In Ephesians 5:25 the Lord compares His relationship with the church to the husband and wife relationship. Here are three things that helped us to balance our marriage and ministry:

MARRIAGE
Communication: Silence is not an option. We must communicate our needs, goals, and dreams.
Intimacy: Spending quality time together without the kids is a must. Have a non-negotiable date night each week.
Passion: Expressing affection toward one another (compliments, hugs, kisses, etc).

MINISTRY
Communication: Share your ministry opportunities in advance. Give your spouse veto power over your schedule before making a ministry commitment.
Intimacy: Spending quality time praying together, sharing your dreams and what you are learning in the Word.
Passion: Express your heart for ministry and the exciting ways that you see God working.

We have realized that by working together as a team we can balance marriage and ministry by allowing each other’s gifts and talents to act as a check and balance system.

Charlie Rivera is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God , and is currently serving as District Youth Director for the Gulf Latin District. Charlie and Betty travel extensively throughout the district which includes Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Oklahoma ministering the gospel to young people.

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BY JACOB ARANZA

After a high school assembly in Wichita, Kansas, a young attractive girl walked up to me after everyone else had left the gym. “Jacob,” she said, “I have to tell you something I have never told anyone before.” Looking around to be sure no one was in sight she whispered, “I’m gay.”

“Who told you that you were gay?” I whispered back.

“No one; I just know that I am.” “Have you ever been involved sexually with another girl?” “No,” she replied. “Well, then how do you know you’re gay?” She thought for a few seconds about how to respond and finally said, “There’s a girl I like here at school. Whenever she goes out with a guy, it makes me angry. I want her friendship just for myself.”

I asked about her parents. They both live at home, and she even said that they were pretty close. “When was the last time they told you that they loved you?” I asked. “Well” she began, but paused as if she was searching through her past, trying to find a way to explain, “We don’t say things like that in my family.” “When was the last time your mother hugged you?” “We don’t do things like that either,” she confessed.

I was amazed and continued to probe. “Has your mother ever hugged you and told you she loved you?” “Not that I can remember,” was her answer. “Sweetheart,” I said, “I don’t think you’re gay; you’re just looking for some motherly love at a time when you’re also going through a hormonal explosion.”

Her story was a familiar one. I’ve heard many such stories from hundreds of young people whom I have counseled over the years. Their stories have three characteristics in common that cause great sexual confusion in teens, which in turn has led some to conclude that they are homosexual or bisexual. These three factors are:

1. No strong father figure present in the home. What happens to a boy who is raised by his mother and never bonds with a father or a father figure? At puberty the hormones kick into gear, and he longs for an outlet for his sexual desires. At the same time he is yearning psychologically and emotionally for the love of a father. The longing for a father figure can sometimes result in inappropriate sexual behavior in both young men and young women, including promiscuity, bisexuality, and homosexuality.

2. Childhood molestation or abuse. The memories of childhood homosexual encounters can follow a person into adulthood, and damage both the victim’s sense of self-worth and his or her sexual identity. Victims of these types of crimes often have deep-seated roots of anger and fear that cause additional confusion.

3. Parental abandonment or neglect. Some kids resort to inappropriate sexual behavior as an attention-getting device, to get the adult attention they crave. For this reason, bisexuality has become a cultural trend among kids today, much as biracial dating was prevalent in their parent’s generation (the difference is that homosexual and bisexual relationships are wrong according to God, whereas arguments against biracial dating are often based largely on social prejudice).

Pop culture icons openly flaunt their sexual “preferences” for shock value. But think about it. Twenty years from now, after the shock wears off, will these celebrities still be idolized? Or will they be drowned out as the stars of the next generation take their place? Ask your parents who their “teen idols” were. You’ll probably hear names like Santana, Elvis Presley or the Beatles. By today’s standards their music is pretty tame. But years ago parents were shocked by these teen icons. The music was a reflection of the Sexual Revolution that had exploded and shaken our culture’s values at the roots. We discovered too late that “free love” was neither free nor love. And we continue to pay the price.

Homosexuality and bisexuality are products of a culture that no longer has defined sexual roles. Many couples have abandoned the belief that protecting, preparing, and providing for their children is their primary responsibility in life. This value has been replaced by the quest for power, pleasure, and possessions.

This was not the case twenty years ago, and in most cases your parents were not raised this way. Unfortunately for you, these changes in our society make developing sexual identity more difficult now than ever before. Difficult, but not impossible. It’s up to you: who are you going to look up to in life? And what can they teach you that one day you will want to pass on to your own children?

YOUTH WORKERS: Many of our Hispanic young people are struggling with identity issues and role confusion. We as Christian youth leaders must address the issues of sexuality even in the church! Even issues such as bisexuality, homosexuality, masturbation, etc. Our young people deserve to know that God’s Word even addresses the sexual arena of our lives.

The bisexual victim of abuse needs to gain a clear biblical perspective of the differences between love and sex. For example, passages such as I Corinthians 6:13b and 13:4-6, and Titus 2:11-14 are great news for them. The bisexual student who has opted for that lifestyle needs to see that a clear moral code is an expression of God’s love and care.

If we don’t dare to address these issues honestly and biblically, we will further communicate that the church is irrelevant and out of touch with this generation – this at-risk generation.

Jacob Aranza is a national youth communicator. Addressing the needs of over two hundred thousand students annually, his message is packed with hope and loaded with humor. His unique message and approach has resulted in positive media coverage on CBN, ABC, CBS, and NBC affiliates. He has been a guest speaker with the Billy Graham Crusade, Campus Crusade, Youth for Christ and Promise Keepers. Jacob is a best-selling author with five books in print and the founder of Aranza Outreach, an organization that challenges teens to be drug and alcohol free, sexually pure, and to restore relationships between themselves and their parents.

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BY DINA GONZALEZ

“Love” is the word engraved on a ring that I wear on my hand. I cannot tell you how many rings I have given away to some of the youth in my youth group, friends, or young people who have chosen to vow to a life a sexual purity until marriage.

But what if the “M-word” does not happen? Can our lives as singles in ministry be effective?

With the population of singles (never married, ages 18 and up) on the rise, growing from 3% in 1900 to 27% in 1996 according to the U.S. Census Report, we are experiencing a birth of new issues that affect the church and its leadership. People are staying single longer and this means that more singles are taking up leadership roles in the church, including key roles in youth ministry.

To all singles who are in youth ministry leadership, here are three challenges that we may be facing:

Understanding “singleness in ministry” as God’s will.
“Don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life” (The Message). What do Paul, Titus, Timothy, Barnabas, Mary, Dorcas, Lydia and Jesus have in common? They were all single and, like many other singles, they played a significant role in the life of the church. Single people have the freedom to dedicate their time, energy and resources to serving the Lord with fewer restrictions. Isn’t that what we all want? God’s will is that we experience His fullness whether single or married. Experiencing God’s fullness is not something reserved only for those who are married. Being single does not mean that we are only “half-complete.” Remember: It is Christ who makes us “whole” (Colossians 2:8-10).

Accountability: To whom am I accountable?
Remember that old saying, “You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool your MOM.” This phrase acknowledges that our moms know us well, but I can assure you that Father knows us best. God knows our every thought, our every move, our strengths, our weaknesses and yes, even our every need. God’s intimate understanding of us makes Him the prime candidate to whom we can remain accountable on a daily basis.

Beyond the Father, we are also accountable to ourselves. We are responsible to make right and wise choices, not only for the benefit of others, but for our benefit as well. Getting enough rest, paying your debts, changing the oil in your car, etc. are part of an effective ministry. It is easy to get caught up “fixing” the lives of others and forgetting to put our own world in order. Remember that the Savior has already come. We are not Jesus Junior-the Messiah II. However, it is our job to nurture our relationship with God and to fortify our lives with education, healthy habits and quality friends.

Additionally, accountable relationships are key for the successful living of the Christian life. Christian singles are part of a larger body of believers and have a responsibility to that body to grow, to love, to teach, to exhort, and to lift up. I believe that singles need to surround themselves with spiritual warriors who are willing to ask the tough questions: “Hey, how is it really goingon the inside? On a scale of 1-10 (10 being good). Where are you with God and why? Have you been with a member of the opposite sex this week that in any way was compromising? On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your thought life this past week? Have you dressed in a way this week to manipulate members of the opposite sex?” Have you with-held the truth in any way in answering the previous questions?

Remember, God is not interested in our exterior appearance/performance, but He does desire truth in the inner man. Are you surrounded by warriors who have ongoing permission to ask you the tough questions?

Building Character:
Who am I anyway? Who does my character reflect?

“He is my hero!” “I want to be like him!” “Did you see what he did!” “He is the best I have ever seen!” “WOW, what talent!” When I heard these words I was certain that they were speaking about someone who had rescued someone from death, or even someone who had risked his life for a stranger, or maybe even someone who had spent their life for a stranger, or maybe even someone who had spent their life like Mother Teresa, sacrificially serving the poor. To my surprise, those comments were made about a famous sports figure, an athlete who openly admitted to having been sexually active with numerous women.

Our heroes influence who and what we become. Who or what we worship determines our character. When choosing a hero, one should take into consideration the whole of a person’s character, not merely their charisma, skills, popularity, etc. How a person lives, what they believe, who they serve, their morals, values and convictions matter! Jesus Christ is the best example of a man of character. His life here on earth was the perfect example of love, compassion, truth, integrity, loyalty, righteousness, purity, servanthood, maturity, humility, courage, wisdom, self-control, patience, and kindness. In this world of many heroes, we are challenged to model ourselves after Christ and to reflect His character.

What incredible challenges! To understand His will, to be accountable and to reflect His character. I am certain that you will face other challenges as singles in youth ministry leadership, but thanks be to the Lord that we have had great role models. The apostle Paul (one of our role models) summarized his response toward his challenges when he wrote, “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).

Just one last suggestion from one single leader to another. Find something that symbolizes your commitment to your calling. It might be a cross, a cup or maybe even a ring with “Love” engraved on it.

Dina Gonzalez currently serves as an admissions counselor for Fresno Pacific University. Among other things, she provides encouragement and support for Hispanic students who have left their traditional Hispanic homes to go away to school.

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WENDY CALDERON
Wendy Andrea Calderón, a Colombian-American, is an exceptional and well respected leader in the metropolitan New York Christian community. She accepted the Lord during her freshman year at Brown University and entered full-time youth ministry upon graduation. Wendy is an ordained minister and serves as the Executive Director of Urban Youth Alliance. Urban Youth Alliance oversees Seekers Christian Fellowships, the oldest and largest indigenous urban campus ministry in the USA. Started in 1970 by Dr. Benjamín Alicéa, then a New York University student, Seekers has always served as a tool for the urban church to motivate and train their youth. Currently Seekers is active on forty-four high school and college campuses in New York and New Jersey. The 1,600 students of Seekers represent over thirty ethnicities and four hundred local churches. In 1990, Seekers began Jesus Day as a vehicle to mobilize students to evangelize their classmates. Jesus Day is a month-long event, ending with a day of simultaneous, on-campus, student-led evangelism. On Jesus Day students wear matching Jesus Day T-shirts, distribute Jesus Day tracts and Books of Hope (a compilation of the four gospels geared to youth). They also invite their classmates to on-campus Jesus Day events where they share the message of salvation through Christ. This year students in New York are raising funds to put Jesus Day posters on New York City trains! Jesus Day is an exceptional tool to help the urban church mobilize their youth. It has been developed by urban youth, and all the Jesus Day tools are geared to reach a city. (This year’s tract was written by a Hispanic student from a Spanish South Bronx church!) Over 1,000 students participated in Jesus Day last year. They distributed 10,000 tracts and 3,000 Books of Hope. If this can fly in New York City, it can fly anywhere! This year’s Jesus Day will be held on May 7th, the National Day of Prayer. If you are interested in starting Jesus Day in your area, call toll free 1-888-Jesus Day.

SONNY ARGUINZONI, JR.
Sonny Arguinzoni, Jr. is the International Youth Leader of G.A.N.G. (God’s. Anointed. Now. Generation.) the youth ministry of Victory Outreach International. His life verse is Philippians 1:21, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” and his passion is to lead today’s young people into a genuine experience with a living Savior. Sonny says, “I count it a privilege to have been raised by a father who has patterned his life after Christ and has never deviated from his calling to reach the hurting people of the inner cities of the world.” The youth G.A.N.G. which began in the La Puente, CA local church has grown to an international youth G.A.N.G. with thousands of members. G.A.N.G. has regional crusades, regional retreats and an annual Victory Outreach International Youth Conference. This year the International Youth Conference will be held at V.O.’s world headquarters in La Puente, CA July 22-25 and they are expecting over 4000 young people from various inner-cities. Recently the Victory Outreach Youth Training Center has been opened in Bridgeport, Connecticut. This will serve as a base to raise an army of young people to evangelize the inner cities of the world. All this and “G.A.N.G. Life,” a weekly television program which airs in different parts of the country and you have a youth ministry which produces city takers and world changers. If you would like more information on the Victory Outreach Youth G.A.N.G., please write to Sonny at: G.A.N.G. Life P.O. Box 1000 San Dimas, CA 91773.

RICHARD HINOJOSA
“Richard, if you will lay down your own agendas and SERVE the public school districts in your area, I will tear down the walls that have been built between the schools and churches in this city and build a bridge. Then I will bring the kids over the bridge and into my Kingdom.” These were the instructions I received from the Lord in 1990 as I began to ask the Lord how to “PENETRATE” the public schools with the Gospel. I had just moved to the Houston area from Los Angeles, California where I had worked as an advisor for the Harbor Area Gang Alternative Program. There was an emerging gang problem in the Houston area, especially among our Hispanic communities and my desire was to penetrate the gang culture with the message of Faith, Hope and Love. As we began to make ourselves available to serve the public schools, the Lord gave us His favor with them and eight years later, He has been faithful to fulfill His Word to us. We do “gang intervention” work in the school districts and facilitate small group meetings with “at-risk” gang members on campus. I also do Gang Awareness Staff Training presentations for various school districts in our area. While all this is important, my main focus of ministry in the school deals with prevention. Through grade level meetings and assemblies we speak to hundreds of kids about the realities of the “gang lifestyle.” My latest endeavor is to teach “The Making of a Hero” curriculum to elementary and middle school kids in the public schools. I am currently teaching this material to two groups in two different schools. This curriculum challenges kids in high gang areas to reject the gang mentality and become a H.E.R.O. (Helpful, Educated, Responsible, Original). Together with other church-led ministries in the area, we are making an impact on our community. Minds are being renewed and lives are being transformed through Faith, Hope, and Love.

Richard Hinojosa is the youth pastor at The Encourager Church in Houston, Texas. He has had eleven years of experience working with young people. He currently serves on the Spring Branch Hispanic Advisory Board, the Advisory on Committee for “Somebody Cares Houston,” and is on the Board of Directors for the “New Breed Youth Network.” Additionally, he acts as a consultant in the area of Youth/Gang Violence to the Spring Branch Independent School District and the CyFair Independent School District. He and his wife currently reside in Houston with their three children.

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BY DAN MONTEVERDE

Youth today, especially the Hispanic youth we work with, love music. If we are not in agreement on this issue we will be hard pressed to agree on many other things other than the Lordship of Christ and his imminent return.

If you want to know where a kid is socially, emotionally and spiritually just listen to the music to which he or she is listening. Often times much of what a teen accepts as “the norm” is gathered in from the music they value which reflects their view on life. Having problems with Armando slipping into the gang familia? Check out the gangsta rap stuff in his walkman. Maria seems a little more loose with her language, lifestyle and clothing – ask her what was the last CD of cassette she bought.

Many times the only Contemporary Christian music our youth hear is in our youth rooms or at the concerts to which we invite them. Unless you are in the Contemporary Christian Music business it is very difficult to stay on top of what is hot and current for today’s youth. Many Christian radio stations are still not hip to the idea of promoting Contemporary Christian Music in their formats, (often times for fear of losing sponsors over that “rock ‘n roll” and “rap” stuff) telling us, “there just isn’t an audience for it.”

Those that do offer it, offer a very limited selection of Contemporary “Pop” and maybe some Black Gospel, i.e. BeBe and Cece, kind of stuff. Ask for some Christian Hip-hop, Funk, R&B, or Alternative music and they think you’re pagan. But Hip-hop, Funk, Rap, and Alternative music is where many of our youth are today in their choice of music styles.

So what do we do as concerned spiritual youth counselors? We tell them to stop listening to that stuff. Oh yeah, like that’s really gonna happen!

I want you to know that our “just say no” program to secular music with our teens has had very little effect. And it will continue to fail until we can offer something as good, if not better, to fill the void we create by asking them to stop listening to “their music.”

What I hope to provide for you as the music review editor, is current information in the music industry that I believe will be relevant for the type of kids with whom you work. Through record reviews and the “Up Close” one-on-one interviews, I will attempt to be both interesting and informative. You may not agree with everything I say, but know that my desire will be to introduce you to people and music from the CCM industry that may be able to be of support to you as you minister to your youth.

There really is a lot of good stuff out there for our kids today. Much of it is as good or even better than the secular poop to which our kids are now accustomed to listening. If this were not so there wouldn’t be such a rush by major secular record companies to buy up Christian record companies and Christian artist’s contracts.

Companies like EMI, Epic, Capitol Records and others are moving quickly to buy up much of the Christian record market. Why? Because they love Jesus now? No way! Rather, they know that the quality of music played by these artists has major appeal and that the positive messages they introduce often times reach a much broader audience than the current artists on their labels. The bottom line though is they know they can make money off Christian artists and record companies. If they didn’t see a profit opportunity, they wouldn’t be signing “our” guys.

O.K., so where was I, oh yeah, listenI hope the information I provide will benefit you and your youth program or event. Please feel free to let me know how I can be of assistance to you in the future. Until I hear from ya, C-ya next issue! Adios Amigos!!!

Dan has been involved in Christian youth ministry since 1985 working full time with Youth for Christ and then founding Steppin’ Out Urban Ministries in 1994. Dan has been involved with the Christian Music scene for the past eight years as a manager, booking agent, concert promoter and album executive producer. Currently Dan runs Precise Productions, a production company that provides professional sound, lights and big screens for concerts. Dan is happily married and has four daughters. (So please keep him in your prayers!) If you have any material/music you would like reviewed by SHOUT, please submit all CD’s and print material to: Precise Productions 4386 Kansas St. San Diego, CA 92104

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To hear Jaci Velasquez share her vision is to be given hope again. To hear her sing it, as in the case of her message of abstinence (on “I Promise”) is to be renewed and inspired to share it with someone else. That’s the way her ministry works, naturally, as she lives it out in front of her generation.

Refreshing. It really is not very common to run into a recording artist today who is just refreshing to sit down and talk to. But Jaci Velasquez is that unique artist whose honesty and transparency about her life, ministry and faith comes at a time when egos and awards have taken the place of humility and truthfulness.

Busy is an understatement for this artist’s schedule. She averages about 25 concerts per month. Jaci says one of her most memorable performances was in San Antonio, Texas singing in front of 66,000 people at the Billy Graham crusade. And like last summer, Jaci’s schedule will find her performing at many summer Christian music festivals.

This past winter Jaci shot a Spanish-language commercial for the Target stores. Oh yeah, and speaking of Spanish, you heard it first here, Jaci is being courted by Youth for Christ DC/LA people to travel with them in November of this year to perform in English and Spanish at a National youth rally to be held in Spain.

OK, before I go any further, I’ve got to tell you one incredible piece of info about this performer, and that is this: She has just turned 18 years old.

That’s right. And to top it off, her debut album, Heavenly Place, had four songs that went #1 on the CCM and CRR charts in 1996. In 1997 she was nominated for four Dove awards (The Contemporary Christian Music Awards, awarded annually) for “Female Vocalist of the Year,” “Inspirational Song of the Year” (for On My Knees), “Pop/Contemporary Album of the Year,” and “New Artist of the Year.”

Jaci’s music career did not start though with Heavenly Place. Jaci grew up in a musically talented traveling family who loved God. “I learned so much about music because of their involvement, but also why they were doing it. They were living it, too. That’s why it shaped me. I know how important it is to walk the walk, not just talk the talk,” Jaci says.

The desire to do both ministry and music well has always been modeled for her by her parents. So it should come as no surprise that at the age of 11 this talented vocalist competed in an entertainment pageant with over 3,000 contestants and finished first. With faith at least the size of a mustard seed, she then prayed that she could sing, Lord willing, at the White House and, yes, God answered that prayer as well.

So many good things coming so fast, yet, when you speak to Jaci, her candor, surprise and joy over all these things are tempered by her humility and understanding from where all these things have come. Says Jaci, “I know that I have a ministry, and I have a heart for people my age, and I want to be an encouragement to them. I can look at them and say, ‘I’m dealing with the same things you are, and we’re gonna wrestle to be all that He created us to be TOGETHER.”

SHOUT was able to catch up with Jaci early one morning and she graciously provided some time for a few questions

SHOUT: How has life changed for you since the Dove Awards?

JACI: Life has not changed much, in fact it has changed very little. However one change is that I realized I was no longer viewed as a newcomer into the industry especially when I was asked to present the Dove Award for New Artist of the Year this year.

SHOUT: Sort of like passing on the baton?

JACI: Exactly!

SHOUT: Jaci, our theme for this quarter’s issue of SHOUT is sexuality. How do you deal with the issue of sexual purity in your life on a day to day basis?

JACI: The number one piece of advice I follow is to not put myself into a situation where I might compromise my beliefs. You’ve got to really check out the situation and be sure that the people you’re with have similar convictions. It’s not just about sex, when you give yourself to someone outside of the marriage commitment, you are also giving them a part of yourself which includes your dreams, your goals and your heart. To give away this much outside of the context of marriage, just for sex, is never worth it.

SHOUT: If you were sitting with a group of teen girls what would be the best piece of advice you could give to them in the area of sexual purity?

JACI: Well I have this friend of mine that is two years older than I am and she once told me that she has had a few boyfriends already. The one thing she has experienced in the area of dealing with boys and what they want sexually is that “it’s never enough.” That if you start with “just kissing” it never seems enough – you always move on to other things. You may feel guilt in the process, but after a while the guilt you feel lessens and eventually you feel nothing at all. Another thing I would like to tell the girls is that boys and girls really do think differently when it comes to relationships. Teen girls often get caught up in the romance of it all, you know, the knight in shining armor stuff. Where as most teen boys are just looking for the big score, commitment and responsibility are usually not in the picture.

SHOUT: Have you seen your ethnic background as a help, hindrance or non-issue in your efforts as a CCM artist?

JACI: My Hispanic background has definitely helped! Deciding whether to place my last name on the front cover of the album was my decision. I told my management team that I wanted people to know my last name. I am not ashamed of my ethnic background and I didn’t want to give the impression I was – no cop-out here. My music has crossed over many ethnic lines and I have been accepted and get letters from people of all races.

SHOUT: Are there any people, outside of your immediate family, who work with you, like your booking agency, management group, record company etc. who are of any minority background?

JACI: No, no one, but I haven’t found that to be a problem.

SHOUT: Have you been able to stay in contact with your friends from the past?

JACI: Oh yes, I contact them often. In fact I’m going to the prom this year with a young man named Michael. He has been a friend of mine since 6th grade. He’s funny! I know people have said to him, “Hey you’re going with Jaci to the prom? You know, she’s cute.” He tells me that his reply is, “She’s not cute – she’s just Jaci!” We made a promise to each other in 8th grade that we would go to the prom together unless one of us had a boyfriend or girlfriend at the time. He says he doesn’t have a girlfriend, so it’s off to the prom I go.

SHOUT: How would you describe your music style?

JACI: Definitely pop with some dance grooves with Spanish-Puerto Rican flavor. That Spanish influence comes from my dad who used to play with the Latinos and Los Amigos. Along with my dad some other artists that have had an influence on me are Amy Grant and Cindy Morgan. I think they are incredible. As for my debut album, I really didn’t know who would ever buy the album with the exception of my mom and relatives, or play it on the radioI was really scared. But the Lord blessed us with four #1 CCM hit songs off the album. My new album will be released on June 2nd titled “Jaci Velasquez.” The reason it is titled Jaci Velasquez is because this new album really incorporates all that I am and believe in. All my dreams, ideas and all that I love is expressed in this album. This album is about what the Lord has done and is teaching me now. My music style in this next album is a little more grown up. There will be a couple of dance tunes on this album. “Glory” is one, along with some songs to watch for like “Made My World,” and “Show Your Love.”

SHOUT: Knowing this article will reach many youth leaders around this country, what would you like them to know about Jaci Velasquez?

JACI: I’m just like everybody else – I’m gonna make mistakes. Because of age and how fast things are moving I know I’m gonna make a few mistakes along the way. However, I hope that my music will bring inspiration to those who hear it and especially to my generation. I don’t want to develop music just for music’s sake. I hope to have a strong ministry as well.

SHOUT: So out of curiosity Jaci, what kind of music do you listen to?

JACI: When I’m at home I slip on the headset and listen to Alternative and Modern Rock Music.

SHOUT: Jaci, we want to thank you for taking some time out of your very busy, almost out-of-control schedule, to chat with us. Are there any last comments of encouragement you have for our readers?

JACI: Be real! Kids will listen to you if you are honest and real with them. They can tell if you are a person of truth a mile away. Youth Pastors have had some major influence on my life and music. In fact, “I Promise,” a song which hit #1 on the CCM charts, was first written with a youth pastor from Houston. So again, the best advice I can give is just to be real for Jesus.

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A Youth Pastor Shares His Story About How Sexual Sin Ruined His Life, Family and Ministry

BY ANONYMOUS

“We need to talk.”
These were the four most frightening words anyone could say to me. The questions would fly through my mind: “What did they know?” “Did one of the girls tell?” “Were they suspicious?”
I never wanted to wait to have “the talk”. The guilt and anxiety were so overwhelming that I was even afraid when the phone would ring!

“I had it all.”
These were the four words that described me. In the world of Youth Pastors, I was recognized as one of the best! The numeric size of our Youth Group compared to the size of our congregation was disproportionate – over 100 regularly attending high school students in a church with a membership of only 400. Our “program” was comprehensive: Sunday activities, outreach, discipleship, prayer and praise nights, summer and winter camps, Mexico missions trips, ministries with the physically and mentally disabled, etc. I was a paid football coach with keys to the campus. I was a regular speaker at large camps and youth events. My salary was $40,000/year in 1993.

I forfeited all of this when it was disclosed that I had had numerous instances of sexual misconduct with over a dozen high school and college aged girls and I was asked to resign.

“I can handle it.”
These are the four most dangerous words that any Christian can ever say.
-Sitting in the jacuzzi.
-Counseling in my office behind closed doors.
-Giving students rides home alone.
-Late hour preparation for ministry with student leaders and interns.
These are just some of the examples of both poor judgment on my part and also of the manipulative scheming that I did to feed my flesh. This, combined with my focus on spiritual gifts rather than on spirituality, my lack of any type of accountability network, and my ignorance about the depth of my depravity was the sure formula for my failure.

“Takes two to tango.”
These four words make up a most dangerous rationalization regarding the sexual sins of pastors or youth leaders and their students:
-No matter who initiates the contact.
-No matter how mutual the feelings seem to be.
-No matter how “mature” the student seems to be.
-No matter if the student is not “innocent.”
The leader is always the perpetrator and the student is always the victim. If the victim is underage, the definition of the action is “child molestation.”

I am still paying the price for my sin in terms of consequences here on earth. I’ve lost my wife through divorce. I only see my precious five-year-old son on weekends. I’ve lost my career, my home, my friends, my colleagues. I have lost it all. The old me, good and bad, is dead and gone. Mercifully, there has been minimal legal action taken against me. If my sin were exposed today, I would be sent to prison for at least eight years.

“There is help available.”
These are the four most useless words if you do not make the choice of voluntarily seeking help immediately!

Your sin will not “go away” if you have already “acted out”. This is a sin that will always “find you out” – it is simply a matter of time. It will continually eat at your victims until they are so dysfunctional, they explode in anger, frustration or hopelessness.

It is better to resign your position voluntarily than to be forced to leave your job as you’re being handcuffed by authorities. I personally went to a six month live-in counseling program to overcome this sin. It is better to go away from your family for counseling for six months than to be away from your family because of incarceration for eight years, and then forever to be an ex-con.

Remember, secrecy gives addiction its power. Bringing the truth to light breaks the power of sin. When you are bound up in shame, you are convinced that if anyone knows the real you they will reject you. To be sure, our experience shows that rejection is a danger to be weighed carefully when deciding who you can trust with your secrets. You must find someone and break the power of secrecy.

Oh yeah, and if you think you can handle this sexual addiction by just meeting with a few godly Christians for accountability, you’re wrong. The power of this sin is greater than we would ever like to admit. I tried the Christian accountability approach and restoration process beforeI moved to another state and church only to perpetrate and abuse again.

I was seriously sick and needed serious help. No longer could I hide behind my “gifts, charisma and natural abilities.”

“I must get help.”
These are the first four words on your way to freedom and peace. You must get professional help from groups that focus on sexual issues. Your “therapy” cannot consist of just well-meaning, godly men and women. Your counselors must be trained professionals – you have crossed the line!

“Blessed is the man.”
These four words describe the future and the hope that the Lord has brought to my life. As I am delighting in the Lord, He is restoring my life and mind. God continues to teach me about His character and about myself through counseling. He has given me a completely new career, not the one for which I was originally called, but a gracious “plan B.”

The Lord has given me this window of opportunity to share His mercy with you, but you must now act on this knowledge! For further help, contact:

Pure Life Ministries P.O. Box 410 Dry Ridge, KY 41035 606.824.4444
Dr. Heather Mechanic 960 West San Marcos Blvd. San Marcos, CA 92069 760.471.8785
Shalom Family Clinical Services 8871 Kareneos Way San Diego, CA 92126 Attn: Rod Sheer

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BY LARRY ACOSTA, MARY ARIAS, AND CLAUDIA RAMOS

The issue of teen sexuality in our Latino community has been one that is both culturally and spiritually difficult to deal with as church leaders. Our teens need positive role models who will talk honestly with them about sex, but often times this openness clashes with our culture and with what church leadership sees as appropriate. To be honest, very few of us have had good sex education. So as opposed to righting this wrong, we concede to repeating history all because we don’t want to make waves in the church or because it’s a difficult subject to address.

In the meantime, the number of Latino pregnancies is higher than any other ethnic group. In 1995, a poll was taken in which the outcome was 38 percent of Mexican-origin children, 44 percent of Central and South American children and 60 percent of Puerto Rican children were born out of wedlock in the United States.

Some of the cultural reasons for this are related to our strong religious roots along with our respect for motherhood, which causes our ladies to complete their pregnancies. Family values weigh heavily in our culture where family relationships are primary to all other attachments. Parents may be extremely angry at the announcement of a teenage pregnancy, but soon accept the idea and support their daughter for the sake of the child. If the girl’s parents cannot financially support the girl and her child, she is usually welcomed into the boyfriend’s house.

While these are noble aspects of our culture, the fact remains that there are far too many teenage pregnancies among our young people and something proactive needs to be done in order to help our teenagers make more responsible choices with respect to their sexuality. Other cultural influences are the economic and educational obstacles that we Latinos face in this country. Just what can we do in our churches in order to encourage our teens to make right and wise choices with respect to their sexuality?

TEACH OPENLY ABOUT SEX AND DATING
Teens need Christian role models who will dare to speak truthfully about sex. This is a major need as sexuality is a primary issue for teens. Perhaps you would consider hosting a panel discussion where teens can have their questions answered. A great way to facilitate this is for you to hand out index cards one week prior to the meeting for teens to write any question they may have related to sex and dating. You and the youth staff may even submit a few just to insure that all the bases get covered. Kids need to know specific dating “do’s” and “don’ts”, implications of dress, how early they should start, etc. Be warned, they will ask you everything! However, you and your panel can prepare in advance and be ready to equip students with insights that will help them to make responsible choices. How great for the church to morally and practically supplement what may or may not be talked about in their homes.

HELP TEENS SET SEXUAL STANDARDS
The number one question teens always ask is “How far can I go?” Use the following chart to help teens establish their sexual standards prior to the “test”. Pass out this chart and ask them to put the appropriate letter under the appropriate category. Don’t tell them what their standards should be, merely ask them the questions. Later in the process you can share your convictions and why you hold to them. Your goal is to provide genuine rationale so that students may come to the same convictions to which you hold.

Teens ask: How far can I go?
L = Look
h = holding hands
H = holding hands constantly
k = kissing
K = strong kissing
B = fondling of the breasts
SO = fondling of the sexual organs

HELP TEENS UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS OF WAITING
The following are some reasons why waiting to have sex until after marriage is so important:
Know that a person likes you for who you are not because of what you give away
Become a better communicator who is able to be intimate without being physical
Develop good friendships and be choosy in dating. Don’t just settle for someone who is available
Learn the difference between genuine love and infatuation
Be free of pregnancy and STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)
Be free of guilt and regret
Be free of emotional scars
Have dignity and self-respect
Avoid disrespect and an unwanted reputation
Be respected by others for standing firm on something you believe in
Have a solid foundation on which to build your marriage
Bring trust, honesty and patience into your marriage
Enjoy a guilt-free marriage with no comparisons with past experiences
Share a bond with your spouse that no one else shares
Have a honeymoon to look forward to
Get pastoral and parental support prior to beginning your series on sexual purity. Depending on your context you may need to provide appropriate rationale, an outline and even a permission slip.

Other Helpful Things the Church Can Do to Help Teens Make Wise Sexual Decisions:
The church can give meaning and value to sexuality.
Help provide positive peer relationships.
Call teens to sexual purity (abstinence).
Provide solid adult role models.
Help teens deal with forgiveness and anger.
Teach Biblical Sexuality.
Bring in an expert who can relate (doctor, nurse, psychologist, teacher, youth pastor).
Equip parents to talk to their kids about sex.
Talk about all aspects of sexuality!
Avoid simplistic answers.

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BY MAX TORRES

Early on in ministry, I remember sitting in meetings and watching effective leaders writing in their detailed, page-per-day calendars. I wish somebody would have asked me, “So how do you schedule your days?” I wasted so much time! Effective planning requires know how, a good planning device and discipline. There are a number of methods you can use, but establishing the discipline of planning will be a mainstay in your life, and ministry. Take time to plan using these guidelines!

1. Use only one calendar! Transfer key church, youth ministry, family, etc. information all to one calendar.

2. Plan tomorrow’s schedule TODAY! At the end of each day take ten minutes to plan your tomorrow. Write in the items that you were unable to complete today, note the essential meetings and calls and delegate appropriate items.

3. DO THE MOST DIFFICULT ITEMS FIRST! If you’re like me, it is so easy to fill your day with phone calls, meetings and seemingly “urgent” items. This fills the day with busyness, but not always effectiveness. If I’m to be effective, I must do the most important things FIRST.

4. Be Flexible! Allow time for those “unexpected” things that inevitably come up. Planning your day with back-to-back appointments is not always a good practice. Remember to allow for travel time, traffic snarls, arriving early (wow), and the occasional “power nap” or as we know it, A SIESTA!

5. Make appointments with God! This is an opportunity to schedule time in your week to commune with God. Reading scripture and praying for personal spiritual renewal, not just preparing to teach a Bible Study. Quoting a great spiritual leader, “No amount of activity in the King’s service will substitute for time spent with the King Himself!”

6. Make appointments with your family! Allow your wife and children to see that they are valuable. A weekly date night is key if you are married and a monthly date with each of your kids is a good rule of thumb.

7. Just say “NO!” “NO!” to the requests that just fill up the blank spots in your calendar. There is a Spanish “dicho” or saying, “El que mucho abarca, poco aprieta!”

8. Avoid the Messiah Complex: the tendency to think, “If it’s going to get done right, I’ll have to do it!” Allow others to emerge.

In my last column, I mentioned the pocket computers and organizers. Many of these have built-in planning calendars that are integrated with alarms, phone directories and search functions that help you find specific dates or names. If you go the hard copy route; a page per day, week or month format will help you keep organized. I suggest you try the “page per day” format so that you can plan your work and then work your plan! Call Franklin/Covey at 800.360.8118 for the latest in time management systems.

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